Ahhh the smell of rich Kahlua coffee steeping from the Keurig and delectable cinnamon rolls baking in the oven. Now this is the way to start a morning before the sun even rises. I’m baking for my airmen at the gate this morning as it is drill weekend. I hope Hubs can deliver them without taking a bite. He said he’d refrain as he is pulling PT this morning.

I stayed up til almost one o’clock watching an old TV series on amazon. Seems I missed a whole lot of entertaining shows during the years my kiddos were growing up and I was working 40 plus hrs a week. There was never any time for me to relax all those years. Plus, I have noticed now that they are gone, that I really spend  a lot of time cleaning up after and taking care of Hubs too, maybe even more so than I did for the kids.

Do you notice anything different between the first paragraph and the second?

I turned a little south, and didn’t even realize. It’s too natural for me to complain, become negative or irritated with my present situation. Oh how I can blame those around me and play the victim role so well, that I never see I’m doing it. How easy it is for me to be down on myself, making harsh comments in jest or thinking how I fall short all the time.

With the New Year already in full swing ten days now, I have once again set out to work on and change all that is “wrong” with me. Believe me, it’s a long list.

This morning as the aroma from the oven enticed me and the struggle with guilt raged within me. I knew I would eat a roll as apposed to the healthy omelet I had planned on. My rationalization talk was, that I start every morning out healthy with an exception of my two coffee & creamer days a week so, this morning I could start unhealthy. I was in battle with this and never realized that I was doing something kind for someone else. I was focused on my weakness and almost missed the blessing that comes from doing good for others.

I stopped and thought …..I refuse to do it! I’m not gonna do it!
And you should join me.

I’m not going to focus this year, on all that is wrong with me that needs fixing. Every year it has gotten me no where. I end up before January is over breaking my resolutions and then spending the rest of the year beating myself up with my failures. Worse yet, all year is spent reading books, taking classes and focusing on all the things I’m doing wrong.

Please join me! Take a little time this year to relax, your kiddos and husband will be glad you did and so will you. Your talents, gifts and desires are buried so deep, you’ll have to dig them out! Meditate a little each day on the things you do right, or the things that are good about you. Live each day with gratitude to our Creator.

I’m certain that when we refuse to focus on all that’s wrong with us, change will happen!