Standing at the sink, two women curiously looked at the other out of the corner of her eye. When their eyes met, they broke the ice and smiled and then both chuckled……..this was just the other day at Target.

After someone close to me shared this bathroom story of how they felt somewhat uncomfortable using the bathroom at Target and yet didn’t really care who was in there, she had to go’……. I thought of several of my own uncomfortable stories I could share.

When I am out and about you can count on me needing to go pee in almost every restroom I come across. A time or two I have even used the men’s restroom in a gas station, or restaurant out of dire emergency. Once this happened without a family member or friend standing outside to warn those entering. If you haven’t ever done it let me tell you this….those men’s bathrooms are disgusting! And the look on the men’s faces when a woman exits is priceless!

I mostly understand where those not wanting their children to share a bathroom with a Transgender person are coming from but let me share this with you. Back in the middle part of the 60’s I was in grade school. I used public bathrooms by myself, and nothing ever happened to me. This was the era that now on social media you see all those sweet quotes, adds and photos of how wonderful it was to play in the yard til dark, chasing lightning bugs and playing hide’n’seek. They are correct it was mostly wonderful and we were unsupervised. I will only share this portion of my story here.. but… this neighborhood scene with familiar people is where I was more unsafe as a child than in a public restroom.

As a one time deputy; I also totally understand why people are concerned about the safety of using public bathrooms in general. In the detention center it was my job at times to book in males and females who were charged with lewd sexual acts inside a park bathroom. These incidents weren’t just involving LGBT folks, but drug addicts, alcoholics, and transients and they weren’t just at night but daytime too. Patrolling the bathrooms in the city and county parks is a ritual and a constant battle is being fought to keep out all kinds of people using these facilities in an improper way and causing harm to themselves and others. Because of these facts my children never used the park bathroom alone, or unguarded and neither will my grandchildren. There are all sorts of sexual predators out there that include LGBT and those who aren’t and they work in our schools, churches, doctor’s offices, libraries and live in our neighborhoods, they even sit next to us at dinner on Thanksgiving. We all need to be supervising and on guard, watching over children and standing up for them. Parents….computer usage is even more dangerous as far as predators go than a public bathroom.

As a mother; Unsupervised is the key word. When I had children we were together in a public restroom, mostly they had several stalls. As a matter of fact I got dirty looks and a smart remark from a lady once as I entered with my then six year old son. At that time in my life I was still living the shaken lifestyle and I’m pretty sure my reaction to her rudeness was to mind her own _amn business and showing her the One Finger Blessing. I supervised them, I wasn’t worried about sexual deviants in the bathrooms as much as I was my small child falling into the huge toilet, their hands holding onto the seat where all the butts sat and then no wiping properly and coming out with poop all over their hands. Come on now you know it happens.
I wish there were family bathrooms offered back in that day. It would of made things a lot easier. Have you ever tried to keep your toddler from putting their hands all over the floor, and crawling under to the next stall while you hold your purse strap between your teeth, keeping one leg extended to keep the child inside your own stall and change a maxi pad!!!?? Let’s just say I was dancing all the way into the first FAMILY bathroom I ever saw and was glad they had one. Or how bout this….your child is at the age where they want to go in by themselves, you know it’s a one seater, so you just stand outside waiting…and waiting….and waiting… while they explore everything that’s in there ..only to send them back in when you realize they didn’t wash their hands! Hey kid get your business done and let’s get outta here!

As a customer; I was standing in line at a furniture store waiting for two little girls to come out of a one seater bathroom. It was obvious by the door opening and shutting, as the older peeked out that there was a problem and they were looking for a parent. As I crossed my legs waiting, I wished through gritted teeth that they hadn’t been left unsupervised. After a long wait the Dad came back to check on them, and he was quickly grabbed by the older child, ushered in and the door shut behind him. I could hear them going on in there, and figured the older child wasn’t really old enough to give proper assistance to the younger. I smiled to myself thinking…ha! For once a Dad has to deal with all that…and if this store had a family bathroom they all could have gone in and the kids would of been supervised…..oh my ain’t parenting grand! 

As a human; As much time as I’ve spent in public bathrooms I’m sure I have been in a stall next to a person who is transgender, lesbian or bisexual a time or two and didn’t even know it. I will say I have noticed cute shoes from under the stall wall before but never noticed if they pointed towards the toilet or away from it. I may even have washed my hands in a sink next to someone and never thought twice whether they were male identifying as a female. Well thanks to the current times and issues…I’ll probably think about it a time or two; It’s a shame it couldn’t have stayed the way it was for me….and for the person in the other stall… just two people using the bathroom…mutual respect for a bodily function and no curiosity or anger to kill the cat and no agenda to push.

I guess that’s all for now….I gotta go!

Come join me on the Patio….I’d love to hear your bathroom story! But let me warn ya’ if you gotta go you’ll want to use the guest bathroom….it’s cleaner!

Lord, just as I don’t look at the LGBT community thinking they are all sexual predators, I don’t want them looking at me a straight Christian female thinking I’m an unloving judgmental hypocrite. We all need your love, mercy and guidance . In Jesus name Amen.