Oh the Places You’ll Go

“Except when you don’t, because sometimes you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but sadly it’s true, that bangups and hangups can happen to you.”                          

Dr.Seuss

One of the blogs that I read regularly had posted this saying. It truly captured my attention, and I’ve reflected on it often applying it to different life situation.  It is speaking loudly to me as I am focusing on “change”. To me this phrase is inspiring, and leaves me hopeful.

In the past I have stayed depressed over my failure’s in changing my marriage, my husband, my children, myself……this phrase really speaks to me of grace, and allows me the realization that ….I’m not alone.

To begin this journey of “change” join me as we start on Who Needs to  Change in relation to housekeeping.

Most of my married life (both times) I spent countless hours frustrated, irritated, and hopeless because of housekeeping. I found out pretty quickly that my raising didn’t do me any real favors. I was an only child to a single parent. I was not raised to “live with” anyone, and experience their differences. It was my Mom’s way or the highway, and she was a “clean freak and a control freak”.  I had no idea of what it was like to share living space, and had only “unrealistic” ideas or notions about what married life was like. I didn’t go to college so I never had a roommate. I found out on marriage #1 & #2 that I had NO tolerance or acceptance of living habits that were not like mine. A hard reality to take is seeing that need for change in your own life, and actually doing something about it. The comical side to it all is, we’ve lived like the old tv show The Odd Couple.

The beginning of my journey to change regarding housekeeping came when my then three year old daughter said “Mommy I need a friend”. I looked down at her as I stood washing dishes, and said “honey, I’m your friend” and innocently she replied “I want a friend that don’t clean”. The up and down side to this is, I bought her a little broom and mop to occupy her while I cleaned and teach her to enjoy cleaning. (which didn’t work) hahaha.

It grieves my heart that I have lost precious time relaxing, laughing, and getting out of the house with friends, due to house chores. It also grieves my heart that I have ruined my health and happiness from the stress of “doing it all” myself, and “barking orders” to deaf ears. All because I couldn’t see that it was me who needed to change.

I needed and need to learn tolerance for differences. I pick up, they throw down. I scrub, they wipe. I neatly fold, they wad it up. I organize, they build piles. I worry about visitors, they enjoy the company. I want Better Homes and Garden and I’m up all night, they sleep like logs knowing they are warm and safe.

What hurts me is……they may never change. What helps me is…….I can change, and be okay with them never changing. I can control me. I can choose to accept and tolerate differences. I can consistently set boundaries instead of barking orders .

And last but not least……when Hubs does the dishes and wants “a little” for his effort, I can choose to hop in that unmade bed for some goodlovin, or hang on to that “control” and continue world war three with that same old argument about how he never helps or does the dishes.

Is it hard to see Who Needs to Change? Do you still want to control? Can you accept and tolerate differences?

Join me as we continue this journey of change.