Looking from the patio I see on the ground under the feeder 20 mourning doves. I want a closer look. I can see my breath swirl heavily in the cold morning air. As I walk out closer to the feeder the frosty grass crunches under my heavy feet.The tweets hear me coming and take off! I crunched when I should of crept.
In the Facebook world, I am a creeper. My daughter sweetly (picked on me) said to me one evening as I started searching for old classmates, “Mom you’re creepin”.
Have you ever noticed that going about your day, you use different actions and tones around different people and in different situations?.
How do we know which action to use in the presence of which person?
A month after my Mom passed, a friend said to me “you’re gonna have to just get over it”. That was 13 years ago, and those words still sting. They don’t sting because I harbor bad feelings towards that friend. I know her well, and she loves me. Though the words themselves held some truth, she didn’t really stop to think, or put herself in my shoes.
But they still sting because I think of all the people in the world that receive, bad advice, a harsh tone, or strict instructions that might honestly be well meant. But given while a person is grieving. If the person thinking they are helping would just really “think” before they speak they might realize all they need to give is a hug, a shoulder, an ear. If they would just be there without really being noticed might be what is needed.
For me a month wasn’t long enough to be done grieving. Grief is a process and each person handles grief similar yet different. And not just the grief of death, but loss of job, ended relationship, financial trouble, unruly kids. The list goes on and each situation brings some type of grief to our hearts, souls and minds.
What if I had stayed on the patio, watching reverently, going unnoticed, or creeping? I would not have scared them off and could have enjoyed watching them. What if my friend had just held my hand?
There is a time and place for different actions, tones, words. If I think first, and also try to put myself in that person’s shoes my intent to help, might not sting.
Today, when dealing with kids, co-workers, friends, and spouses stop and think. Maybe you should be a creeper?
I loved your, “I’m a Creeper.” It is so true. Everyone is different, has different feelings, may deal with things differently than the next person, and when you have lost a parent, friend, job, etc., everyone definitely needs a different amount of time to deal with that. No one is the same but there are 4 things that I think everyone needs when they lose a loved one. (1) A shoulder to lean on. (2) Someone that will just listen to you talk about whatever is wrong with no opinions from the person listening. (3) A hug. (4) Pray for the person who is hurting.